The Affair Recovery Room

Honest conversations about affair recovery, with practical guidance and real hope. The Affair Recovery Room is a podcast for anyone reeling from infidelity: the betrayed, the unfaithful, and those trying to rebuild together or alone. Hosted by counselor and coach Tim Tedder of AffairHealing.com, each episode offers insight and compassion for those navigating the long road from heartbreak to healing.

70 episodes

11d ago latest

weekly cadence

English language

▶ Play latestRSS feed Website Society Culture Relationships Health Fitness

https://www.affairhealing.com/podcasts?format=rss

Episodes 71

The Patterns We Learn: Attachment Styles, Infidelity, and the Road Back
3d ago · 40:58
Bev Mitelman of Securely Loved explains the four attachment styles and how they shape infidelity — for the one who cheated and the one who was betrayed. Tim shares his own story, and Bev names his pattern before he reveals his quiz results.
Bonus: Free “Good Sex” eBook
11d ago · 15:18
Presenting a free ebook based on our recent three-part sexuality series (on shame, pleasure, and rebuilding sexual intimacy after infidelity), plus a one-week conversation exercise for couples.
The Word After Sorry
16d ago · 29:29
You apologized. You meant it. It didn't land. Most apologies don't fail because the person didn't care — they fail because of the word that came after "sorry." Four words quietly cancel an apology: but, if, you, that. One word doesn't. Through dramatized conversations, we listen to all four fail, then hear the same moments again — changed by a single word. Plus what to do if you're the one who keeps receiving apologies that don't help.
Sexual Reconnection
25d ago · 34:57
After betrayal, the sexual relationship rarely picks up where it left off. Some couples experience a surprising surge of intensity. Others can't bear to be touched. Sex and intimacy coach Xanet Pailet joins Tim to talk about what reconnection actually requires, and why most couples start in the wrong place. They discuss hysterical bonding and what's driving it, why emotional affairs are often harder to recover from, and the deep wound of feeling compared or replaced. Xanet also brings her own story: twenty-six years in a sexless marriage, years of believing she was broken, and the work at fift
Sexual Pleasure
1mo ago · 32:51
Many people, especially those recovering from infidelity, carry enormous pressure into the bedroom: pressure to perform, to please, to prove. But intimacy coach Linda Landon says the path back to genuine sexual connection begins somewhere unexpected: with learning what brings you pleasure in your own body, before you ever reach for your partner. In this second episode of our series on sexuality, Linda shares her own story of living for decades with a block that kept full pleasure out of reach — and the journey, beginning at age 50, that changed everything. We talk about shame, performative sex
Sexual Shame
1mo ago · 33:22
Sexual shame teaches us that who we are is wrong, and that lesson can quietly set the stage for betrayal long before any line is crossed. Tim talks with therapist and intimacy coach Jocelyn Silva about growing up in worlds that made their sexuality something to hide (hers Catholic, his evangelical), and how they took opposite paths from the same root: never learning to be honest about their desires. It's a conversation about shame versus guilt, sex versus intimacy, and why authenticity and integrity—not secrecy—are the real foundation of connection. Neither excuses the affairs that followed, b
When Betrayal Begins Before an Affair
1mo ago · 14:48
Betrayal doesn't always start with an affair; sometimes it starts years earlier, in the slow erosion of connection. In this first PageTalk episode, Tim revisits his article "The Betrayal Often Begins Before the Affair" and talks with a client whose own experience complicates its take. It's an honest look at how both partners can contribute to disconnection long before infidelity enters the picture.
Unshakeable: Strong Lessons from Hard Experiences
1mo ago · 20:26
Suzanne Leydecker's marriage ended the night her husband told her he was leaving for another woman. In this conversation, she shares how she rebuilt her life afterward, the patterns she had to unlearn, and her ongoing reflection on what she contributed to her marriage's breakdown. She and Tim have a candid, thoughtful disagreement about how much responsibility a betrayed partner should carry—a conversation worth sitting with rather than rushing to resolve.
Understanding EMDR: It’s Weird, but It Works
2mo ago · 22:16
Betrayal trauma is real and for many people, traditional talk therapy only goes so far. In this episode, trauma therapist Laurel van der Toorn joins Tim to explain EMDR: what it is, why it works, and what you can expect from the process. Laurel breaks down the eight phases of this well-researched (and admittedly weird) modality, explains how betrayal trauma is targeted and processed, and offers practical guidance for finding a qualified therapist. If you've been wondering whether EMDR could help you, this conversation is a good place to start.
The Betrayer’s Pain
2mo ago · 34:33
The pain of betrayal is visible. The pain of the betrayer rarely gets examined. In this episode, Tim sits down with psychotherapist Dr. Monique Thompson, who has worked with over a thousand couples navigating infidelity, to talk honestly about the inner wounds of the person who had the affair. This conversation isn't about excusing broken trust. It's about understanding what real change actually requires. Dr. Thompson explains why the involved partner experiences a genuine fracture of identity, how shame keeps people stuck and increases the risk of repeated harm, and why self-compassion isn't
Trust Yourself After Being Betrayed
2mo ago · 29:01
Betrayal doesn't just wound a marriage—it can shatter a woman's sense of who she is. She questions her judgment, her instincts, her ability to trust anything, including herself. Life coach Zerina Dervini knows this territory well—from her own experience and from the women she works with every day. In this conversation with Tim Tedder, she shares her five-phase Self-Discovery Framework and talks honestly about the messy, nonlinear work of rebuilding self-trust after loss, disappointment, and betrayal. The path forward isn't a quick fix. It starts with one small shift: changing the question you'
Elisa, 6 Years Later: Life After He Left
2mo ago · 39:26
Tim Tedder reconnects with Elisa six years after her husband left her for another woman. In this follow-up to the three-part "Elisa's Story" series, she shares what the years since have looked like—the healing, the hard moments, an unexpected encounter with the other woman, her sons' journeys, and her return to dating. It’s an honest look at long-term affair recovery.
The Broken Marriage, Her Exit Affair
3mo ago · 22:11
Joni Woods spent fifteen years in a marriage marked by abuse and control—staying partly out of faith, partly out of pressure, and partly because she didn't yet have the language for what was happening to her. When her children became targets of her husband's behavior, she filed for divorce. And before it was finalized, she began an affair. Tim Tedder talks to Joni about what kept her in so long, what finally moved her to leave, and how she makes sense of the affair now.
Men’s Groups: Show Up. Be Real.
3mo ago · 28:40
Men are often taught to be strong, self-reliant, and emotionally contained, and that same conditioning is frequently at the root of what goes wrong in their most intimate relationships. In this episode, Tim Tedder talks with men's embodiment coach and group facilitator Jason Lange about what men are typically missing when it comes to emotional awareness, communication, and connection, and how men's groups provide a powerful space for that to change.
A Conversation with My Ex: Relationships After Divorce
3mo ago · 19:19
In this final episode of A Conversation with My Ex, Tim and Konnie talk about the decades since their divorce: the struggles, the cooperation, and the relationship they've quietly built for the sake of their children and grandchildren. Some of those children share their own perspective here, expressing gratitude that their parents' past doesn't arrive as unwanted drama at family gatherings, and that their own children are growing up as witnesses to what forgiveness actually looks like. A genuinely hopeful ending to an honest series.
The Children’s Experience of My Affair, Our Divorce
3mo ago · 20:35
Before the final episode of A Conversation with My Ex, Tim steps back and lets someone else tell the story — two of his five children. In this bonus episode, one of his sons and his youngest daughter share their own experience of their parents' affair and divorce. Their perspectives are distinct, personal, and quietly powerful.
A Conversation with My Ex: D-day and the Aftermath
4mo ago · 25:59
In this second episode of A Conversation with My Ex, Tim and Konnie revisit the hardest stretch of their story: the disclosure of Tim's affair, the full confession that followed a week later, and the months they spent trying to hold their marriage together. What makes this conversation remarkable is not just what happened, but how they each experienced it differently—Konnie's raw grief, Tim's troubling emotional disconnection, and the misunderstanding that ultimately ended any chance of recovery. Painful and honest, this episode is also something unexpected: a conversation that still carries w
A Conversation with My Ex: Our Marriage, My Affair
4mo ago · 30:57
An ex-husband and ex-wife sit down together to talk honestly about how they met, why their marriage struggled, and how an affair changed everything.
Old Wounds, New Hurts
4mo ago · 23:17
What drives someone to have an affair? Most people, including the person who had one, focus on what was wrong with the marriage. But therapist Kayla Crane argues the answer goes deeper than that. In this conversation, Tim and Kayla explore how the survival patterns we developed in childhood keep showing up in our adult relationships — sometimes in ways that lead to betrayal, and sometimes in ways that make healing harder than it needs to be.
Addicted to Porn: Sacrificing Intimacy & Integrity
4mo ago · 30:31
Porn addiction rarely looks like a crisis at first. It looks like a habit. But over time, it rewires desire, erodes real intimacy, and keeps people stuck in a cycle of shame and secrecy. In this episode, I talk with Jeremy Lipkowitz — founder of the Unhooked Academy and host of the Unhooked podcast — about his personal journey from addiction to recovery, and the inner work that actually sets people free. We cover what defines addiction, how porn becomes a substitute for genuine connection, and why community is often the most important first step toward change.
Out of Betrayal’s Fire: The Rising Phoenix Story Part 2
4mo ago · 21:20
In part two of her conversation with Tim Tedder, Michelle moves from survival into healing. She talks about the breakdown that became a turning point and the slow process of learning to regulate her body, establish real boundaries, and choose herself. She also opens up about how intimacy found its way back into her marriage, what her husband did to rebuild trust, and what their relationship looks like today. Honest, grounded, and quietly hopeful, this conversation is about what healing actually costs and what it can become.
Out of Betrayal’s Fire: The Rising Phoenix Story Part 1
5mo ago · 28:15
Michelle discovered her husband's affair when a laptop was left open on the table one morning. What followed was four years of survival, breakdown, and hard-won healing that she has since shared publicly under the name Rising Phoenix. In part one of this two-episode series, Michelle talks with Tim Tedder about discovery day, what trauma felt like in her body, the exhausting in-between of that first year, the effects on her children, and the breakdown that became a catalyst for real change. Her story is raw, honest, and deeply encouraging for anyone navigating the early pain of betrayal.
From Suffering to Love, Part 2: Gratitude and Love
5mo ago · 25:55
Gratitude and love may sound like distant destinations when you're still living in the aftermath of betrayal. But in this conclusion to Tim's conversation with Anthony Silard, author of Love and Suffering, those destinations become surprisingly reachable. Anthony unpacks the final two steps of his love progression model, explaining why gratitude isn't about minimizing what happened but about choosing to learn from it, and why love, real and lasting love, requires becoming a different person than the one who entered the crisis. Tim shares from his own experience, and Anthony offers practical gu
From Suffering to Love, Part 1: Acceptance and Forgiveness
5mo ago · 28:40
After infidelity, both the betrayed and the one who betrayed often quietly give up on the possibility of real love. In this episode, Tim speaks with Anthony Silard, author of Love and Suffering, about the first two steps of his love progression model: acceptance and forgiveness. Anthony reframes acceptance not as passive resignation but as the active foundation of change, and challenges common assumptions about forgiveness, including who it's really for and why "forgive and forget" may be the wrong goal. A thought-provoking conversation for anyone trying to find a way forward through the pain
Setting Good Boundaries: Pleasing, Controlling, or Caring?
5mo ago · 28:34
What do boundaries have to do with infidelity? More than most people realize. In this episode, Tim talks with boundaries coach Barb Nangle, who grew up surrounded by infidelity and codependency and spent decades unknowingly repeating those patterns. It wasn't until 12-step recovery that Barb began to understand what healthy boundaries actually look like, and why their absence makes relationships vulnerable to broken trust. She shares how people-pleasing is a form of dishonesty, why integrity means aligning your behavior with your values, and how "boundaries of self-containment" can clean up th

Episodes

Reading the feed…

More Society shows

The Affair Recovery Room

Episodes 71

The Patterns We Learn: Attachment Styles, Infidelity, and the Road Back

Bonus: Free “Good Sex” eBook

The Word After Sorry

Sexual Reconnection

Sexual Pleasure

Sexual Shame

When Betrayal Begins Before an Affair

Unshakeable: Strong Lessons from Hard Experiences

Understanding EMDR: It’s Weird, but It Works

The Betrayer’s Pain

Trust Yourself After Being Betrayed

Elisa, 6 Years Later: Life After He Left

The Broken Marriage, Her Exit Affair

Men’s Groups: Show Up. Be Real.

A Conversation with My Ex: Relationships After Divorce

The Children’s Experience of My Affair, Our Divorce

A Conversation with My Ex: D-day and the Aftermath

A Conversation with My Ex: Our Marriage, My Affair

Old Wounds, New Hurts

Addicted to Porn: Sacrificing Intimacy & Integrity

Out of Betrayal’s Fire: The Rising Phoenix Story Part 2

Out of Betrayal’s Fire: The Rising Phoenix Story Part 1

From Suffering to Love, Part 2: Gratitude and Love

From Suffering to Love, Part 1: Acceptance and Forgiveness

Setting Good Boundaries: Pleasing, Controlling, or Caring?

Episodes

More Society shows

防災 FRONT LINE

The Daily Rios

DOCS

The Best of Times Radio Hour

Under the Influence with Terry O'Reilly

Debatní deník

Episodes 71

The Patterns We Learn: Attachment Styles, Infidelity, and the Road Back

Bonus: Free “Good Sex” eBook

The Word After Sorry

Sexual Reconnection

Sexual Pleasure

Sexual Shame

When Betrayal Begins Before an Affair

Unshakeable: Strong Lessons from Hard Experiences

Understanding EMDR: It’s Weird, but It Works

The Betrayer’s Pain

Trust Yourself After Being Betrayed

Elisa, 6 Years Later: Life After He Left

The Broken Marriage, Her Exit Affair

Men’s Groups: Show Up. Be Real.

A Conversation with My Ex: Relationships After Divorce

The Children’s Experience of My Affair, Our Divorce

A Conversation with My Ex: D-day and the Aftermath

A Conversation with My Ex: Our Marriage, My Affair

Old Wounds, New Hurts

Addicted to Porn: Sacrificing Intimacy & Integrity

Out of Betrayal’s Fire: The Rising Phoenix Story Part 2

Out of Betrayal’s Fire: The Rising Phoenix Story Part 1

From Suffering to Love, Part 2: Gratitude and Love

From Suffering to Love, Part 1: Acceptance and Forgiveness

Setting Good Boundaries: Pleasing, Controlling, or Caring?