Happy summer, LILYs! It’s Host Molly here, reporting for duty! Now, what kind of duty should I do? KP duty? Jury duty? Wait, no: LIFEGUARD duty. I’ll admit I don’t look (much) like Pamela Anderson in Baywatch, but I have a red bathing suit. And I am something of a celebrity: a couple of weeks ago, a stranger in Billings, Montana, looked at me, did a double-take, and said, “Hey, aren’t you the lady who was in jail last night?” What I’m saying is, maybe don’t let your kids in the ocean this summer. What have we been up to? I can’t believe we haven’t told you yet: Matthew, Abby, and I have a new(
In the beginning, there was an egg. The shell was made of a chocolaty substance, filled with disturbing goo. And it was good. Or at least it was goo. Have you noticed how you can’t spell “good” without “goo”? Have you ever wondered if these words are related? It’s me! Come in! This issue of the Spilled Milk subscriber newsletter is being taken over by everybody’s favorite döppelganger, Mr. Etymology. This is definitely going to clear everything up! Please allow me to introduce myself This is Ulysses S. Etymology. People have been saying a lot of things about me lately, and I want to clear the
Oh come, all ye LILYs! ‘Tis the season for a newsletter, this time from Host Molly. Host Matthew says ho ho ho, but his attention right now is mostly occupied by holiday romance movies. I texted him just now to ask if it was accurate to describe them as “Hallmark Christmas movies,” and with no delay, he replied: “I mostly watch the Netflix ones, although sometimes they have good Lifetime ones on Hulu, and occasionally I will spring for a Hallmark subscription.” Well then! He also reports that he and WOTSL recently watched one called A Sprinkle of Christmas, about “a woman who opens a bakery bu
As promised, we brought in WOTSL to give her take on various chocolate milks. Goes with Episode 715 like chocolate milk goes with Cocoa Krispies!
Greetings, faithful Listeners! This time, Host Matthew has taken the reins. Even though Host Molly is the horsewoman in the family, she has entrusted me with the show’s telegraph machine and a sheaf of horsey metaphors. So saddle up, because we’re galloping into the unknown on a horse named Desire. This one comes to you straight from the horse’s mouth! (Honestly, Desire seems like a good name for a horse. If you have a horse you’d like me to name, just reply to this email.) Bonus time Our July bonus episode is called “The One Where Matthew Takes a Hike and Drinks a Cocktail.” I think that prob
Hello, beloved listeners! It’s Host Molly. If you are reading this, you made it through January of 2025, which is no small feat. Welcome to the rest of your life! And happy Valentine’s Day, lovers. What’s new? Matthew and I are still not lovers, but we do text every day. Sometimes a couple of times, even. Often it’s about the show: what topics to do next, who should research which topic, or what to do on our forthcoming Corporate Retreat (see below OMG). More often, though, Matthew has bird news to share (“Today on 12th between Thomas and John there was a tree full of pine siskin and another t
Hello, beloved listeners! Host Matthew here. It’s spooky season, and some of my neighbors take this time of year VERY seriously. In the past week, just walking around my neighborhood, I’ve seen: A ten-foot spider A giant glowing octopus A skull that comes to life and jump-scares you when you walk by A hooded merganser By the way, you may not know this about me, but I’m also a talking skull. I mean, I have some other baggage surrounding the skull, but basically, talking skull. Boo! It’s also pie season. Well, in my house it’s always pie season, because a couple of years ago WOTSL signed us up f
Happy summer, fellow baked-bean fans! It’s Host Molly. How’s the season going so far? Have you gone on a vacation? Have you gone camping? Matthew hasn’t gone camping since I took him into the wilderness for a single night in 2019. But I’m going next week on our fifth annual camping trip with a bunch of families from my daughter June’s school. Last year, there were 29 of us: 14 adults and 15 children. We stay at the same campground every year, in a state park that features both old-growth forest and a beach. We reserve the group camp there, which has a dozen secluded tent sites and a picnic she
Hello, beloved Listeners! Host Matthew here. Recently I was reading one of my favorite newsletters, and it had a simple phrase in it that made me look up from my computer with an inquisitive Scooby-Doo noise: “if you like something and want more of it, give it money, and you’ll get more of it.” Is this the way things should work? Probably not. Is it the way things do work? Sure is! And everyone reading this already knows that. If not for our subscribers, there’s just no way we would still be doing this show. What would we be doing instead? Well, I’ve been obsessed with the show Suits on Netfli
Happy Halloween, you ghouls! It’s Host Molly. Like Matthew, whenever it’s my turn to write the newsletter, I look back at past newsletters to remind myself of what to do. Looking at July’s, I noticed that Matthew mentioned being shocked that we hadn’t yet done a spaghetti episode. That might have led you to believe we’d be announcing a spaghetti episode in the near future. Not so! Despite what you’ve always been told, this is the “trick” in trick or treat. Tell your kids: you can either have candy, or you can have a Spilled Milk spaghetti episode we’ll never actually make, wa ha haaaa. Or will
Hello, beloved Listeners! Host Matthew here. Whenever it’s my turn to write the newsletter, I look back over past newsletters for ideas. I assume this is how all creators approach their next project. For example, when Frank Lloyd Wright is working on a new house design, he visits Fallingwater and is like, “Oh yeah! I’m … Continue reading "Bonus Episode 28: Fast X (July 2023)"
Happy Valentine’s Day, friends and lovers!* It’s Host Molly here, writing from the throes of sleep deprivation while a newborn baby** snoozes beside me. Matthew and I recorded a bunch of episodes in late 2022 so that I could take parental leave, which I am currently doing, but do you really think I’d miss this … Continue reading "Bonus Episode 27: Sex Room (Feb 2023)"
Greetings, beloved Listeners, and happy Spooky October/Gnarly November! As you may know, Molly has this newsletter called I’ve Got a Feeling, and for some reason she had a feeling that she wanted to interview me! We started out by talking about a hockey game and a Pixies album and ended up talking about how to … Continue reading "Bonus Episode 26: Cough Syrup (Oct 2022)"
Happy summer, for those who celebrate! It’s Host Molly. For our latest bonus episode, we decided to watch an unbelievably bad movie and tell you about it. What’s that thing they say in commercials – we did [onerous task], so you don’t have to? You know, like, we washed the uniforms of a pubescent boys’ … Continue reading "Bonus Episode 25: Grand Piano (July 2022) "
Happy Valentine’s Day, beloved Listeners! Host Matthew here. Let’s start off with the deets on this bonus episode. Everyone still says “deets,” right? Ever since we were kids, we’ve thought of Valentine’s Day as a holiday to spend with your favorite podcast. You can imagine how confusing this was for our elementary school classmates in … Continue reading "Bonus Episode 24: Whitman’s Sampler (Feb 2022)"
Happy Halloween, beloved Listeners! Host Molly here. Today I’m celebrating by eating even more sour gummies than I usually do. To pregame for tonight’s festivities, Matthew, Abby, and I have been swapping memories of stuff from movies that scared us when we were kids. Matthew was terrorized by Large Marge in Pee Wee’s Big Adventure, … Continue reading "Bonus Episode 23: Onion Rings 2/Driving Lesson (Oct 2021)"
Suggested by Listener Wilson! Better stand back, because we’re gardy-looing all the way to the Transfer Station.
No cap, this episode is snatched. Producer Abby joins us for a teen slang quiz, featuring “research” by Teenager of the Show December.
What does this have to do with anything? We’re not sure either, but be careful: there’s some sort of big cat on the roof.
We visit the finest restaurant in Seattle: the Costco food court! What is a chicken bake? Why isn’t there any real soda? Will Molly crank the onion dispenser? And we go into the store, where Matthew gets way too excited about curling and cheese formats. Recorded on location, featuring the worst audio of any Spilled … Continue reading "Bonus Episode 19: Costco"
Introducing our replacements: Iris Amster-Burton (15) and June Pettit (6-1/2)! They eat dumplings and discuss the serious issues: How do you get the soup out of a soup dumpling? How do you use chopsticks? What is a web site? Should some dumplings be in jail?
We striker a gusher of chocolate malt in this VERY scattered episode that finds us wandering aimlessly around Oklahoma City slurping milkshakes and talking about debutantes.
Communication is everything, so we take the Enneagram, Five Love Languages, and Four Tendencies tests. Can we improve our relationship? Finally, we take the psychopath test. Which host is a psychopath? The answer may surprise you.
Just like it says on the tin, plus a controversial new book by Carl Dickman!
Another one coming to you live(-ish) from Matthew’s Tokyo bedroom.
