How to Be an Adult

Luke Chao and Kate Voss · morpheusclinic.com

Do you find yourself wishing that your parents had taught you more about how to take care of yourself, your emotions and your health? This show offers practical guidance for outwardly successful but inwardly lost adults like you. It’s the philosophy of life that you should have received when you turned 18, but didn’t. Each episode attempts to arrive at principled answers to a single question about how we might find happiness and peace. We are driven by a mission to democratize self-assurance.

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Episodes 38

How to “Be Yourself” (Ep. 38)
1mo ago · 44:09
“Just be yourself!” We’ve all heard this platitude, but without specific instruction in what it means, the advice is rather useless. In this solo episode, Luke breaks down how to be yourself, and six enemies of your authentic self: Being authentic as an adult means embracing your individuality rather than compromising your values, thoughts, or feelings to meet external standards or please others. Individuals like Rosa Parks, Einstein, and Gandhi are viewed as iconic because they trusted their own moral compass and inner judgment rather than conforming to the expectations of their time. The pri
How to “Take Care of Yourself” (Ep. 37)
1mo ago · 31:50
If you’ve ever heard the clichéd phrase, “take care of yourself,” you might have been flummoxed about how, especially if your needs were unmet in early life. Yet, as Luke will argue in this episode, taking care of yourself is a defining feature of adulthood: at last, you have a capable guardian. We shall use Maslow’s hierarchy of needs as a framework: As adults, we serve as our own primary caregivers, responsible for meeting our own needs rather than relying on parents, partners, or employers. Taking care of oneself is a positive-sum game, analogous to the airline safety instruction to ‘put on
How to Have Better Sex (Ep. 36)
2mo ago
Good sex is not an accident: it happens deliberately. In this dual-hosted episode of How to Be an Adult with Luke and Kate, we strip away the cultural noise to look at the reality of physical intimacy. We break down what it actually means to be present with another person and how to engage in the unapologetic, shameless exchange of mutual pleasure: We define good sex as a mutually pleasurable, safe, and relaxing activity that aligns physical, emotional and mental wellness, characterized by mutual validation rather than performance. We emphasize that sex should be fun, not stressful, and that a
How to Dress Like an Adult: Pour Homme (Ep. 35: Part 2 of 2)
3mo ago · 36:21
In the second of this two-part episode about how to dress like an adult, pour homme, Luke shares what he has learned about outerwear, accessories and how to put together an outfit: For cold weather, invest in a quality wool overcoat such as a Chesterfield, polo coat, or balmacaan to wear over suits, and consider a trench coat or barbour coat for shoulder seasons. While often criticized, a high-quality fedora made of fur felt is considered appropriate headgear for suits, provided it is not paired with casual clothing. Practicality takes precedence in extreme winter, but for general accessories,
How to Dress Like an Adult: Pour Homme (Ep. 34: Part 1 of 2)
3mo ago · 49:43
If you’ve been following our social media, you might have noticed that Luke has been dressing better in recent months. In the first of this two-part episode about how to dress like an adult, pour homme, he shares what he has learned about how to dress like a white-collar office professional in 2026 and beyond: Luke discusses how to curate a professional, intentional, and classic male work wardrobe, emphasizing that clothing is a form of self-expression. We recommend prioritizing quality over quantity, focusing on natural fabrics like wool, linen, and cotton while avoiding polyester and visible
How to Cope with Tragic Events in the News (Ep. 33)
4mo ago · 38:04
When current events are so constantly upsetting, how do we remain informed without descending into despondency? In this timely episode, Luke shares how he consumes the news while remaining hopeful: It’s possible to be well-informed without succumbing to stress or doomscrolling, which means you don’t have to choose between being informed or being comfortable. To avoid filter bubbles created by social media algorithms, use RSS readers to curate news from multiple credible sources across the political spectrum and different countries. Be aware that news media is often curated, focusing on negativ
How to Excel at Your First Job (Ep. 32)
5mo ago
At some point, we must all take our first jobs. In this solo episode, Luke speaks about how to get the most from yours, from the perspective of a small business owner: To excel in your first job, view it as a resume building project, focusing on the value you create which should exceed your salary. Understand that jobs are created when there’s enough work and revenue to hire someone. Your compensation is based on the value you bring, not just the hours worked. Avoid an entitled attitude; employers take a chance on new hires. Focus on making your employer’s and colleagues’ lives easier. Manage
How to Overcome Procrastination (Ep. 31, with Kate Voss)
7mo ago
In this conversational episode, Kate and Luke discuss how to overcome procrastination, based on their personal experience, as well as professional work with hypnotherapy clients. Procrastination originates from the Latin word procrastinus, meaning ‘of tomorrow,’ highlighting the tendency to defer actions to a future time. Living with the knowledge of future consequences (e.g., dirty dishes, laundry) can motivate present action and set up a better tomorrow. Self-motivated and productive individuals maximize their available waking hours by prioritizing important tasks and letting go of non-essen
How to Overcome Impostor Syndrome (Ep. 30)
8mo ago · 34:09
If you’ve accomplished enough with your life, and you’re very self-critical at the same time, you will probably feel at some point that you’re an impostor or a fraud. This is a pretty good sign that you aren’t. In today’s episode, we’ll explore why, and what to do about that awful feeling: Imposter syndrome is common among intelligent, high-achieving individuals who feel like frauds despite their accomplishments. This feeling often arises because our self-concept, formed in childhood, may not be updated to reflect our current adult selves and capabilities. Adult life involves operating at the
Principles for Effective Protest: A Special Episode Following the SSI-SJP Clash Near TMU (Ep. 29)
9mo ago · 13:05
On November 5, 2025, the tranquility of our hypnosis office was broken by a clash between two student groups, Students Supporting Israel and Students for Justice in Palestine, from Toronto Metropolitan University. After a window was broken and the protesters were forced out, five arrests were made, and the police chief says that more charges are coming. If you’ve seen the videos posted on social media, you might have seen our founder Luke Chao surveying the damage and making efforts to deescalate the situation. In this special episode of How to Be an Adult, Luke reflects on what we can learn a
8 Ways to Win at Capitalism (Ep. 28)
11mo ago
Chances are, there isn’t a revolution coming, and you’re going to be living in a capitalist society for the rest of your life. Now what? In this solo episode, Luke shares eight principles for adapting to (indeed, thriving in) the economic system that our listeners live in: Capitalism is a system where private property and corporations own the means of production, and winning at it means accumulating enough capital to generate income without working for wages. To win at capitalism, you need to become a member of the capital-owning class by investing in assets like stocks, bonds, or real estate.
How to Think About Time (Ep. 27)
1y ago
In this episode co-hosted by Luke Chao and Kate Voss, we discuss how we might maturely relate to time. It’s less about time management, and more a philosophy of how one might make the most out of your 16 waking hours in a day: Time management is crucial for adults to balance work, leisure, and personal growth, with each person having about 16 waking hours a day to allocate. Elon Musk’s time management strategies, such as scheduling in five-minute increments, highlight the importance of valuing each minute, though this level of granularity may not be practical for everyone. Time is a non-renewa
How to Cope with Uncertainty (Ep. 26)
1y ago
Most of our anxiety comes not from what actually happens, but from what we imagine might happen in an uncertain future. In this solo episode with Luke Chao, he speaks about how to face the future with clarity: The things you’re stressed about today will likely be handled by your future self with the maturity and experience of that age. Life’s uncertainties are like driving on a winding road; you don’t need to imagine threats, just trust your senses and handle what comes. Anxiety often focuses on hypothetical threats rather than the actual reality, which is usually safe and manageable. Througho
What Makes a Relationship Successful (Ep. 25)
1y ago
Kate is the newest member of our team at The Morpheus Clinic for Hypnosis, and in this episode, she and Luke discuss some of the hallmarks of a successful relationship. We offer suggestions for listeners at every stage in their relationship journey: Successful relationships begin with a positive relationship with oneself, characterized by self-love and self-respect. The “four C’s” of relationships—clarity, confidence, communication, and connection—are crucial for navigating both entering and maintaining relationships. Confidence plays a significant role in attracting partners. How one presents
How to Ask Yourself Great Questions (Ep. 24)
1y ago
The questions we ask ourselves determine which thoughts subsequently enter our minds. If we ask ourselves about counterfactual scenarios, our mind floods with counterfactual scenarios. If we ask ourselves about reassuring truths, we find reassuring truths, almost as though we were typing a query into a search engine. This episode is about how to ask yourself the second type of question. Good questions can lead to productive thoughts, while bad questions can evoke unnecessary anxiety and confusion. The way we think is influenced by the questions we ask ourselves, which can shape our emotional a
How to “Be a Man” (Ep. 23)
1y ago
This timely episode tackles an important topic that I’ve tried a few times to speak about. For the half of the population who are male, how are we supposed to “be a man”? In this episode 23, I make an attempt to answer this question using the same analytical lens through which I’ve dissected how we are all supposed to “be an adult.” The concept of masculinity is evolving, and traditional definitions centered around being a provider, protector, and procreator are becoming outdated as women can now fulfill these roles independently. The real battle is against oneself rather than against women or
How to Forgive Yourself (Ep. 22)
1y ago · 22:55
We all know that we should forgive ourselves for our mistakes, but until somebody teaches you how, the path to redemption isn’t always obvious. In this episode, I’m going to break down what it means when you’re feeling guilty or ashamed, and what to do about it.: Remorse serves to reflect and improve oneself to avoid repeating past mistakes. Guilt arises from specific wrongful actions, while shame is a deeper feeling of being a bad person. When you recognize your position in your redemption arc, you can make amends and grow as a person. Continuous self-reflection and learning from past actions
How to Stop People-Pleasing (Ep. 21)
1y ago
This episode is for all the recovering people-pleasers out there. If you feel like it’s hard to say “no” in an unfair situation, I’m going to give you a moral framework that lets you to speak your mind and simultaneously feel like the hero in the story of your life… at the same time! We start by recognizing the false morality instilled during childhood that suggests being agreeable equates to being a good person. We should prioritize authentic, truthful communication over merely saying “yes” to please others, because this shift is essential for personal growth and emotional well-being. The ‘fa
How to Consume the News Without Falling Apart (Ep. 20)
1y ago · 30:40
We’ve recently heard of a trend of young people avoiding the news entirely to preserve their mental health. In our view, this is unnecessarily self-defeating, because it’s possible to be informed and happy at the same time. In this episode, we share how: It is possible to stay informed about world events while also prioritizing mental health, debunking the notion that one must choose between the two. Each person can make a positive impact in their community and the world, and benefits from focusing on their own contributions rather than feeling overwhelmed by global issues. Individuals should
How to Stop Being a Perfectionist (Ep. 19)
1y ago
In one of our most focused episodes to date, Luke deconstructs the notion of perfection and suggests achiveable standards, such as authentic self-expression, that are still worth striving toward: Perfection is an unrealistic and unattainable standard that no one can truly achieve, even in simple tasks like drawing a perfect circle. Holding yourself to a standard of perfection is unnecessarily cruel and prevents you from being genuine, authentic, and relatable to others. Your worth as a human being is independent of any criteria or flaws, just as you would not reject a friend for having “imperf
Why the Glass Is Half Full (Ep. 18 of How to Be an Adult)
2y ago
In the eternal debate about whether the proverbial glass is half full or half empty, both arguments are often presented as equally valid. In this solo episode with Luke, he makes a case for why the glass being half full is the correct answer: A glass half full perspective encourages individuals to appreciate what they have rather than lamenting what they lack, fostering gratitude. Acknowledging and appreciating what one has can counteract negative thoughts, promoting mental well-being. Recognizing abundance does not equate to complacency; it can motivate individuals to nurture and build upon t
More About Addiction, with Marc Lewis (Ep. 17, pt. 2 of 2)
2y ago · 30:48
This episode of How to Be an Adult, the second of two parts, features a very special guest: Marc Lewis, Ph.D., psychologist, academic and bestselling author of Memoirs of an Addicted Brain and The Biology of Desire. Marc joins Luke in our studio to discuss how popular models of addiction are flawed, and how we can better serve those who are suffering: Shame is a major obstacle in addiction recovery, as it can exacerbate the problem rather than help. There can be a positive intent or function behind addictive behaviors, which is often overlooked. Unconditional positive regard and self-acceptanc
About Addiction, with Marc Lewis (Ep. 16, pt. 1 of 2)
2y ago · 42:30
This episode of How to Be an Adult, the first of two parts, features a very special guest: Marc Lewis, Ph.D., psychologist, academic and bestselling author of Memoirs of an Addicted Brain and The Biology of Desire. Marc joins Luke in our studio to discuss how popular models of addiction are flawed, and how we can better serve those who are suffering: The medical model of addiction as a disease disempowers those it’s supposed to help, by taking away their sense of agency and responsibility. Addiction is better understood as a psychological habit, a cognitive and emotional pattern, rather than a
How to Cope with a Breakup (Ep. 15)
2y ago · 40:40
Not every relationship lasts forever, and it’s when a relationship ends that all your self-loving and self-caring will really matter. In this episode, Luke and Pascal draw from their own personal heartbreaks to discuss some ways to cope with a breakup: Experiencing a breakup is a normal grieving process, not a sign of being “broken.” Acceptance is the inevitable end point. Both parties can walk away from a breakup with their self-worth and dignity intact. Avoid blaming yourself or your ex, and focus on questions that lead to growth. Practice self-care and self-compassion during this difficult
How to Love Yourself, Too (Ep. 14)
2y ago · 33:37
When you keep hearing that you need to love yourself, and nobody gives you instructions in how, it’s easy to feel stuck (and not any more loved). But self-loving people are not a different breed of human being: they’ve just internalized certain lessons earlier in life. In this episode, we’ll do our best to articulate what these lessons might be, so that you can adopt them in adulthood for the decades-long timeline of your future, too: Love is a positive-sum pursuit, not a zero-sum or negative-sum one. Loving yourself does not take away love from others. The only condition for self-love is simp

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How to Be an Adult

Episodes 38

How to “Be Yourself” (Ep. 38)

How to “Take Care of Yourself” (Ep. 37)

How to Have Better Sex (Ep. 36)

How to Dress Like an Adult: Pour Homme (Ep. 35: Part 2 of 2)

How to Dress Like an Adult: Pour Homme (Ep. 34: Part 1 of 2)

How to Cope with Tragic Events in the News (Ep. 33)

How to Excel at Your First Job (Ep. 32)

How to Overcome Procrastination (Ep. 31, with Kate Voss)

How to Overcome Impostor Syndrome (Ep. 30)

Principles for Effective Protest: A Special Episode Following the SSI-SJP Clash Near TMU (Ep. 29)

8 Ways to Win at Capitalism (Ep. 28)

How to Think About Time (Ep. 27)

How to Cope with Uncertainty (Ep. 26)

What Makes a Relationship Successful (Ep. 25)

How to Ask Yourself Great Questions (Ep. 24)

How to “Be a Man” (Ep. 23)

How to Forgive Yourself (Ep. 22)

How to Stop People-Pleasing (Ep. 21)

How to Consume the News Without Falling Apart (Ep. 20)

How to Stop Being a Perfectionist (Ep. 19)

Why the Glass Is Half Full (Ep. 18 of How to Be an Adult)

More About Addiction, with Marc Lewis (Ep. 17, pt. 2 of 2)

About Addiction, with Marc Lewis (Ep. 16, pt. 1 of 2)

How to Cope with a Breakup (Ep. 15)

How to Love Yourself, Too (Ep. 14)

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Episodes 38

How to “Be Yourself” (Ep. 38)

How to “Take Care of Yourself” (Ep. 37)

How to Have Better Sex (Ep. 36)

How to Dress Like an Adult: Pour Homme (Ep. 35: Part 2 of 2)

How to Dress Like an Adult: Pour Homme (Ep. 34: Part 1 of 2)

How to Cope with Tragic Events in the News (Ep. 33)

How to Excel at Your First Job (Ep. 32)

How to Overcome Procrastination (Ep. 31, with Kate Voss)

How to Overcome Impostor Syndrome (Ep. 30)

Principles for Effective Protest: A Special Episode Following the SSI-SJP Clash Near TMU (Ep. 29)

8 Ways to Win at Capitalism (Ep. 28)

How to Think About Time (Ep. 27)

How to Cope with Uncertainty (Ep. 26)

What Makes a Relationship Successful (Ep. 25)

How to Ask Yourself Great Questions (Ep. 24)

How to “Be a Man” (Ep. 23)

How to Forgive Yourself (Ep. 22)

How to Stop People-Pleasing (Ep. 21)

How to Consume the News Without Falling Apart (Ep. 20)

How to Stop Being a Perfectionist (Ep. 19)

Why the Glass Is Half Full (Ep. 18 of How to Be an Adult)

More About Addiction, with Marc Lewis (Ep. 17, pt. 2 of 2)

About Addiction, with Marc Lewis (Ep. 16, pt. 1 of 2)

How to Cope with a Breakup (Ep. 15)

How to Love Yourself, Too (Ep. 14)