Jason Porter, author of the novel Why Are You So Sad?, brings you a new story every week, each about two minutes in length, because who has time for anything longer than that?
Reading the feed…
There are so many advanced products for all of our advanced states of being it is difficult to be sure if we are being the being we ought, might, want to afford to be being.
Oh, like we are supposed to know what anything is about anymore, as if we can just write in here some brief explanation when all the $#!t has gone full on bonkers. Why don’t you tell us what this is about for once. Jesus. Make an effort.
Our brains are our best feature and we are using them to build something to take their place so that we can drool in a corner, or maybe it will all be fine.
We are back with something that feels like it was bent and then stretched and then imprisoned and then released and then mistranslated and then turned into a glass trinket at the shopping mall. Yours to enjoy. Free of charge.
Time is somewhere and wherever it is it is seemingly endless, like our time with the current former current president, endlessly predictable in its suffocating sense of endlessness.
Episode two is totally off the rails. But in our defense there is a nationwide rails shortage. Bonus: This episode includes a free song that will tickle your terror bones.
A new season and an old nemesis. Catch back up with all your favorite characters and learn clever ways to enhance your love life.
Did you ever notice how nobody seemed to notice that nobody was noticing because we were all too busy not noticing?
Take a step into the past, where you were just another hairy kid longing for speech.
We are all alone together.
We were gone for a while, but so were you. This much anticipated installment is a story posing as a rant posing as a story. Also, a new sponsor!
A lot of things happen on an airplane despite nothing actually happening on an airplane.
Time is like an uncomfortable canoe.
The future is whenever.
It’s that time of year. Take care of yourself. Remember that spiritual fulfillment is in none of the places major advertisers are telling you to look. There is nothing under the tree that is going to fill your many voids. But, you do look great in that sweater and your egg nog is, once again, out of sight.
We only have so much time and yet we mostly waste it. This podcast is also a waste of time, but under five minutes, so maybe listen while on the toilet.
An exciting episode that may or may not be an allegory about the creative process.
While we do things we start to think about other things forgetting sometimes that all the time we are absolutely nothing.
Are we robots? Are robots us? Are we us?
Love is mostly feeling fine about mostly not feeling love in the way you mostly thought you might.
There will exist a moment when we will look to something that doesn’t exist to help us figure out if and how to exist.
Let’s take it to the creator and ask for our money back, while also not holding our breath, because, let’s be honest, return policies these days are designed to overwhelm you until you give up. But don’t give up. You’re special. Probably.
Today’s episode is a re-broadcast of a real emotional belch you’re just going to have to deal with. You don’t get to have ups without downs. Sir Isaac Newton probably said that in more high falutin terms. Other people probably said it too. Seems pretty obvious.
There is no point in waiting for everything to be good. Get on the dance floor. Shake it up. Barf a little in your mouth. Life is short.
This week’s episode features sleight of hand, and a special new segment on facial expressions.
